Oh, it's probably scatter hello, hello and you smell good. What kind of perfume is that? Or maybe it's both videos. Apologies for my juicer. Please try to ignore the McDonald's bags, clippings, and a mountain of trash in the corner. Also, try not to touch and wash your hands before you leave. Natural musk? Yeah. natural pheromones. Uh pH Yeah, there you go. A chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal. especially a mammal or an insect. uh, affecting the behavioral psychology of a uh, or of other species. Uh, that's the thing I did not know anything about that. Mm-hmm Yes, just for a little bit. Um, after if you want? um, all right I was gonna do uh. interview style classic Interview Ivan with um, uh with amarantha and of course you guys know uh, what was my specialty. It's either not showing up or not preparing it and today we have a little bit of both. Um, didn't prepare but she showed up. uh, she's very chill. hey so thanks for showing that. but yeah, so I could um yeah I could ask you some normal, you know, just yeah. Have you ever seen like Interview Ivan It's yeah of course I'm nervous. holy um I've never seen interview I haven't so don't worry I won't have anything to compare you to. Okay, yeah, of course I'm nervous. Okay guys, it's a big deal man. Yes, you know she's um, she's well known. she's a well I mean yeah, but I mean okay. Anyway, um you know this is a huge deal. I'm actually like one of the biggest, uh, female creators uh, in our space by a long shot. Okay, there's only a few that, uh, um, you know. All right. Okay, yeah, you guys get it anyway. um yeah yeah. Yesterday was, uh, her birthday party. It was pretty chill. It's a lot of fun I met a lot of people and um yeah. now how about we uh I'm not glazing guys guys. So many people doing interviews a lot like uh, you know hot ones. Have you seen hot ones before? Oh yeah I've seen hot ones. let's say you were invited there. Would you? Would you go? Yeah I would go I hate spicy food but I still go. yeah well you think you would eat all I'm always the last one. oh I'd be crying but yeah I would do it. Okay, fair enough. Okay, Are this chest being weird? I'm sorry I just yo mods if you want me inappropriate. So I just just ban them. or should we order hot wings? do our own version of hot ones? uh oh sure, do you want to do that? Yeah. so much fun. Sure, why not just get some milk too. They'll die Okay, um I'll I'll get it set up but wait I don't How hot can we get wings if you order them online though? uh I don't know I've never done it. just try it. How would you. Why would you order? uh Wings if it would have been really really hot like actual hot ones, you probably just Google it. hot wings. okay um you have to like different levels. or maybe you could just instacart hot sauces with different and then just wings. that way you can have different levels of it that was actually working. Oh and we I think we could just get wings that are like uh, like plain yeah and then dab it up yeah Buffalo Wild Wings that has good. Tiers are probably not as high as we you would think though. right? Yeah, we could. we could even if you wanted to get some Bolivia hot sauce. really good. Yeah yeah, there's a bunch of stores really really close or you get the chance over you guys driving. uh Uber okay is the mic uh, levels are good or not, it's all chill a little louder. I'll put it over here like this one. okay oh yeah, do you think you get like just like, um, like figure it out a little bit. yeah, whatever's best and then you just yeah, just just another day. you see insecurrency with the uh time estimation is when you buy different at different levels. like I said the Scoville rating I don't know if you know about that guys but anybody figure it out is like is like I don't but I figured out I mean there's one plan or the other plan or another plan I mean like figure like the best way to do it you know I don't want to like give orders that are just wrong. It's like stupid. You know that makes sense or not. Yeah um yeah yeah okay. sounds good. Oh wait, can you go wider Cam: uh is this this is not as good as I guess I think for this chat. that's fine. Yeah it is good. I think I think I think I think Tech is pretty much figured out. it's the Brio Logitech Oh yeah yeah. So I just figured out the other day that you can whenever you change the resolution, the quality gets better. Oh yeah well I didn't know that. So I've been using like uh for like the last like four years. I'm using the Brio on stock. Have you see your settings? What do you have on them right now I have nothing I used to use the Brio a lot. oh what are you doing which? Which scene? which video source is this? uh it's this. oh okay yeah. the custom resolution. Yeah yeah. but whenever you go device default it's not good. It's really bad. but I had no idea. Yes I did. oh there he goes. Oh wait, there's gonna lag Yeah anyway. um yeah yeah. Amazon's actually better at Tech than I am. her setup is insane. What? I told Chad I was gonna do something right? um that I learned from you which is leaving your your computer on and having your um TeamViewer oh yeah and going to IRL and swapping scenes on the Fly for your phone? Yeah, that's like an actual five head. That's like like I don't I don't think you can make can you do it better than that I don't I think that's like the best way to do it right? Yeah, if you need um, the person who runs that server I can introduce you to them. Oh okay okay, it's like 100 150 a month so it's not bad. Oh that's not bad. Yeah yeah. remote desktop Exactly okay. I How about we? um how about doing some super basic like super very very like. bottom line questions stuff on the bottom. work our way up. How about that? Yeah, we do that. Okay, um how long I've been cheering for 2016s when I started. So that's how many years, seven years, seven years it was 57 this summer. Okay I remember the first time I saw of you was um you were doing some cosplay thing right? Yeah I used to do a lot of Cosplay on stream. yeah and so people were talking and you were talking back and they got I got on Lsf and I was like a 100 viewer Andy at the time. but yeah that was the first time I ever saw you before and um uh I'm trying to like I don't want to be I want to ask questions like at face value but I don't want to be like rude or whatever like does that make sense? Yeah okay if I ask a question is like more direct. okay okay um what? okay most people will know you I guess from like you're more like a like bathtub streams or whatever. so I say hot temperatures it's all the same. Yeah okay yeah um yeah when you swap over into that you remember I think when it first started kicking off that was early 2021. well let me just swap through it. uh other girls were getting really high numbers in it and I was like that's like good Insight sometimes it's like sometimes like your guided like through like you'll do something because of certain reasons whatever. but I like when people are very open about why you do something right? So I want to ask you like what made you want me to do that um so other people like just doing it. yeah that was still when it was in just chatting before its own category. oh okay yeah yeah I remember that remember that? um yes I saw some some some I I have to have to stop doing that I have to stop whenever I'm gonna I'm in like a question mood and I stop reading chat you're so stupid. um Jesus man. Anyway, if you want we could wait till wings for the interview and then just do like games right now. Okay I mean I'm just talking though I I'm talking a lot I mean I have like a bunch of questions but and I want to like go too cold in it you know, ask you like some super like hardcore like yo what? Yeah, I'm not. Um, answer about taxes? do you know, chat, chat, Give me one one thing that you want to ask. actually give me one good question because if you don't even wants I'm just gonna win at everything, you just stop. Um, that's actually not even that bad. How long is it going to get ready for a streamer? Just overall uh oh, is it a lot? It depends on the stream. um I would say different types of streams I get more excited for if it's just gonna be like a regular day for like at-home desktops if I'm not that motivated actually. so it's about like two hours probably because I'm I'm very pleased. Two hours, two hours. but if it's something like I'm gonna go see my ponies at the stable I'm gonna do IRL stream I can get ready in 30 minutes max I'm like motivated to get out the door. Okay, uh, give me back a little bit. So also, you're not. You can't roll. so yeah, can you? um, get oh well. Can you walk me through the process of what you do in those two hours? Because as a guy which is most people that I watch are guys like yeah I mean like a nice episode or something like that so nobody knows what happens like makeup and like that everybody walk us through it. It was like a rundown. Uh I wake up I go take a piss. okay I go to the sink I'll wash the face okay uh then you start. There's so many different levels of makeup. just I'm I'm all here is I'm all here for it I'm not gonna I'm here for it I want to hear about it? You do like, uh, lotion moisturize. Do you do moisturize? You have great skin? uh I don't have your skin but thank you? um I don't really moisturize I mean I'll wash like I'll wash like thoroughly right? Um and I have like a couple like products like uh I have like a serum or something like that right? and I'll have like, um another one. It's like you like push into your skin a little bit and then you I do that sometimes like once every two days but it's about it I try to be responsible but I mean skin care line combing suit xqc called The Juice morning juice I wish that would that would not and that would not sell I Don't know Morning juice okay I'm actually gonna get it I wish look at this. Okay okay do you have a skin care routine with products? They would. If you have one for them, they just don't know who to listen to. Okay, fair enough. I Think making a cultural change on your own and the product comes with it is super hard. Chat. Don't chat. Don't try to look cool. Okay, it's an anonymous poll. again. Chat. Click it. I Put up on chat. it's called do you have a skincare routine with products? The real pull you should put is would you buy my skin care line? Then you're thinking too far ahead that would that would never work. Let's take a look. 68 says to say no. So not a lot of people that's there's a market for it. Then there's a market market of um 30 which is possibly about I would say 40. Liars So we're already way down, but I'm sure we can convince them that makes a lot of sense. Okay, so then you watch a race and then what? and then uh. after the moisturizer, you start with something primer. Okay, and that makes the the pores kind of like have something filled in so that the makeup sits on it better. Okay, is it like that, like the white powder? that thing? No, that's at the end that's setting powder. Okay, so the primer looks kind of like blue jizz. I Think like the texture is like semen. Oh wow. Okay, interesting. yeah and it feels the pores and it loads them up a little bit. Yeah So also it's smooth, real juice but that's not always on hand. Yeah, probably not Uh, you could use something called color correctors. Yeah if you have blue veins there's like the color wheel you know. so you use the contrast and colors. so to kind of blue you would use like yellow to cancel out the blue and you end up looking like you have like a Picasso on your face different colors and then you put the concealer on which is more like your skin color and then on concealer. you do foundation and after that you do eye shadow and then you might do eyebrows and then you do eyeliner and then mascara. Maybe fake lashes? Okay I mean I'm taking notes a lot. It's a lot of stuff. and then there's blush. There's Contour there's highlighter and at the end of all that then there's the white powder, the setting powder a little bit. yeah I know because I do like uh I'm gonna have appearances and shows and stuff like immediate days. whatever. they do all that. it's like I kind of get it. Oh yeah, so the light bounces better and so yep. yep. yep that for sure. and then lip color. Oh lip color. yeah oh I mean they usually give me some gloss. gloss gloss is also liner. There's lipstick. there's even, uh, lip serum to make it look like you just had lip injections without actually trying to get them. There's a lot of stuff involved. Lip liner I Know that isn't I I Haley lip liner I hate it too. um okay, that's not why I hate it I think that lip liner all over your dick too. you know what? I've only one time um had that uh a girl with uh with lipstick and it kind of scared me because I didn't know. like like my dick's bleeding see that's what I thought yeah yeah I Also had another encounter, um a little bit of maybe a too much information story but whatever. um at this girl and um, you know we were like eating like uh stuff and then she was eating like no I mean later but she was eating uh uh Hot Cheetos you see him did that burn? no I didn't because it was like a little bit later, right? It was fine, but then it's a bit too much whatever, whatever and then I ended up like uh, you know, like a little bit right? So then and then I look and it's just red like liquid everywhere right? and it looks exactly like blood and I'm like holy looks on your dick and I'm like did that did I just get something to just bite my dick and then uh and it's it was just like the saliva with like uh hot Cheeto mixture and it scared the out of me. my heart like stopped I thought I thought I thought I got bitten. it's real So I promise I promise you just have to believe it. No Kappa oh that's gross. yeah yeah it is pretty gross. Okay, all right, what inspired you to start shipping at the beginning? I'm asking like like interviews like if every like, uh, almost like I'm some like cringe uh well I'm cringe but some cringe like news articles or whatever. Yeah, well, let me just start anyway. Uh well. I was doing cosplay since high school Anime conventions and stuff just kind of my hobby and then I had like a little tiny Instagram page and like a Facebook cosplay page. Okay and Twitch was actually just launching their creative category about 2016 and they're reaching out to cosplayers inviting them to come over. Yeah! I had no idea like I just got an email from them and so I checked it out I started using it and I was like why not make some money on the side while you're gonna be crafting Anyways, yeah, exactly. Talk to people. set up a camera and they kind of evolved from there. Uh, they started. They started promoting it heavily in 2016 so they were actually making a sweet deal for people who wanted to get partnered through gaming. At that time, you had like 500 concurrent viewers? Yeah, 250 Yeah, I think you're actually 500? Yeah, 500 but with creative section, you only had to have about like 80 to 100 concurrent viewers. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's a good deal. Yeah, so that's not kind of how I snuck in without doing gaming. Okay yeah yeah. also the time people don't remember this but there's like a big meta like shiny people for like how they get partner like oh you only got him because you're with an org or you only got it right that was posted or whatever. Yeah and it would be it. like the smallest river like Community would always like gang among people like oh dude I shouldn't have gotten them because look at my numbers and then right people compared dick size and just got really really weird. like even I like I couldn't get partner as a French streamer um and I kept applying and some guy was like way smaller than me, got his partner and it made me look like I know I'm just bad or stupid and I kind of hated that. um yeah, it was pretty terrible. Um yeah I heard that they were like expanding like certain countries or something like that. uh and and others I didn't know they were doing categories though. they were like spending manually like that. it's pretty crazy. Yeah I think that was only two at the time was like you're either gaming or you're creative because they didn't really have like I think that was right before IRL launched. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah they started launching that I think in 2016 would be early 17. I Really yeah yeah. Ice Poseidon kind of like made way for that traffic. Yeah yeah and uh. also wrecked full with the uh the Pokemon go streams and whatever. Yeah, remember that. Yeah I think that people don't sometimes don't remember the uh, the actual pioneers of uh, everything. especially with like the the React the React stuff. What do you think about React as a whole? it's interesting I think react is it can be relatable because a lot of people like watching stuff with their friends, right? So I kind of get the parasocial aspect of that why people would be interested. but then I also find it kind of weird that we're able to profit off of somebody else's content for sure. Yeah I mean yeah I mean for me it was never like that. you see. for me it was like all these thoughts that are reasonable like that I've never really had that I had them until like way later on because I was like I enjoy it people enjoy it I think it creates something. any people enjoy it and it's gonna like where I kind of let it right and then uh I only got like I only made it only got real for me once. like I watched a video and the guy I upload my reaction to YouTube and they sent me a DM and they're like Yo dude like don't do that and we're like I was like oh I didn't know So yeah some people are like really protective over their own videos and stuff I Can see it as a double-edged sword though because it on one hand it's kind of sad. like if you were watching a musician or something someone really talented on. YouTube yeah they might have like 100 subscribers, a thousand views suddenly all your people are interested in, then we might be like oh yeah exposure at the end of the day. It's sad that they're only interested when you're watching it. They don't actually care about the person themselves channel for sure. Yeah, it's like yeah. Pros and cons: I I still feel like they'll get like something out of it though. which like it's rare that you'll get like a big chunk of something and or you'll get less than what you started with right? So let's say you have like 100 subscribers and then somebody comes in and you'll give you like a lot of exposure. Whatever. I'm not saying oh you exposure, give me your video I'm just saying like they get exposure and then um like after the exposure happens I get it. A lot of them like don't watch again because the only ones because I watched but some will stay right and I think there's like value there for sure. It depends just how the person who made it takes it because they could have to take it. It's like oh this is a good opportunity. Maybe they even send you more videos to react to. Some people can be like getting discouraged because it's like oh so it's not a lack of talent. it's that people don't care enough to click subscribe. True. So it's like yeah stuff depends on the the person who made the content. Yeah I think sometimes people are not like like ready um to get exposure. Does that make sense or not? Yeah, like people. uh, they want to grow their channels or whatever. but it seems like they're not ready to have an influx of people coming in right? right? Um, and that's gonna how it is with like smaller shimmers is that you you host them and they lose everything right? and then if they never actually go from it because they're not like ready for it, it's what I think like you know I'm actually gonna ask instead what it was your like experience as a small streamer, like the actual experience itself. Try to like really just a lot of streamer for girls is kind of strange because you have a lot of money when you're a small streamer because there's a lot of like parasocial dudes in the chat who think that they can like get your attention by sending a lot of money and stuff. so it become very addicting for girls to keep streaming when they're small. That makes sense. and because there's like such a small amount of dudes watching that they don't feel like it's too competitive. they can like send like a thousand dollars and get like all the attention for that hour or whatever. Yeah, elaborate on that. Okay, I'm not interested to know? Can you? yeah? Can you expand more of like um, did they have like sometimes like expectations of your attention or like your personal DMs I mean is it like boundaries? yeah? How about you go ahead and they're the ones can become super entitled? like if they send like a thousand dollars of like, why don't you respond my messages Listen for so much money. but some of them even get this complex where they're like entitled to like a private video chat with you now that they've sent money in or like entitled to nudes or whatever or things that you're their girlfriend. It's like really creepy. So it's easy to get stalkers even as a small girl. Creator yeah even with like 10 15 viewers, you get like one or two stalkers from group that is. That's really scary. It's very scary in fact. I think it actually becomes less problematic the the more that you grow. I Would say once you get past like two or three thousand viewers, you actually get less parasocial people because it's too much trouble for them to fight for your attention. But you also get less big donators so it's kind of like yeah I think you're poison? You know, yeah, it makes sense. um see as a dude, uh unless it's really DTS I've never, really, um, ever computed donations in like total like income for like to make like uh, Jackie Lynch or whatever because it's it's too like, uh, volatile and flexible I I'd rather not like do it have something more reliable like uh, subs or whatever. Yeah, so um, yeah, it's it's it. It can be like a weird transition I don't give people that I don't think Chad gets this the chat. What I mean by that is like donations. It's they. They'll go high or up based on a bunch of factors or something. It's kind of hard to just compute it and how much income you have, right? Yeah, um, it's super strange too for girls because I remember when I was below 2000 viewer average it would be very frequent. I would have big guy like they call them whales who donate a lot. Yeah guys like get into getting into donation Wars with each other. So I would have like the Five Guys Who yearly would donate over ninety thousand dollars each. but as a streamer net when you're above 5 000 viewers, you probably get that much. just like 90 000 maybe aggregate total for the year because the whales aren't getting their attention from you because there's so many people in the chat so they're not sending as much money. But you also are making more ad money, making more subs funneling to other websites if you do that. like yeah, it's much more reliable in the transferable so it's like a scale model versus like small, really high donating. Yeah, you know, donations that is actions I didn't even think that. Okay, I'm gonna. you're gonna blow my mind with this one. Wait. So if you're like if you have like two or three dudes or let's say three that are all competing and they're doing like 90k, let's say that at this point what I said earlier was completely stupid I mean uh, you can't compute donations? they definitely can, but that's nearly 300K in a year I'm just yeah. straight up the nose. Yeah, when you're small, when you're a small girl, Creator your biggest profit is gonna be donations. Wow, not really Subs as much, uh, not really like ad money because you don't have that many people watching. Yeah, but um yeah. and then when you're a bigger streamer I Guess it'd probably be a mixture of ads and Subs rather than donations. Yeah yeah, especially now with like, um, like new twitch like add-in sentences like that like there's more like a more like corporate money like more like Amazon money than uh before. Yeah, especially with like only fans and stuff too. like they can go to your later on fans or whatever is available in their country and that's where they'll spend their dollars because they get and they actually get a product for it rather than just a donation getting nothing In return? Yep, so that makes sense where the money goes. Do you, even though it's maybe just unjustified of a feeling unjustified, do you sometimes feel like um, you're um like somebody over for not giving the attention because they don't need like a certain amounts Whatever is there are people that like um were like really angry at you or whatever because um you know you didn't give him like enough attention or you know, does that happen often like you, uh it used to not so much anymore because of the skill model. Okay and then now they kind of like are more reasonable and they can understand like oh there's like 10 000 people in the chat of course I'm not going to get attention from a streamer and then the rest of the chat will also like tell them to shut the up if they're being really clingy in the chat so you kind of get like a reality check. Okay, that's good. yeah okay. regulating it makes sense. Yeah because even I sometimes even if there's this one has I'll get like a physical donation would it right? and then it'll be like uh like a life story and we're like watching on good videos like that or playing a good game and I I feel bad a little bit right and I feel like I should feel bad because they they do it like almost almost intentionally like to get and it's like I just went down like yo shut the up yeah I mean I hate to be rude but like it feels bad that you don't want to be the one reprimand then that's why sometimes it helps to have a chat be like do it for you because of the social pressure from the crowd. Yeah, it can help. but I still do feel bad if like someone because you don't know what they've got. So if they had a bad day exactly right, they're just trying to get some acknowledgment because they probably don't get a lot of that in life and that's that's a big part of this parasocial aspect. I think is that people just go to online uh, like influencers in communities to feel that kind of like social. Yeah, nobody notices him exactly your work or whatever. so you do kind of feel bad, but you also can't like play into that too much because then everybody will be expecting it from you and it's impossible to please everyone so it's a hard balance. Yeah it's why whenever it happens a little bit I'll get like two or three people that do that. I'll usually put a a cut to it I'll either address it, we're just going to mute it because otherwise one one or two that on a timing will bring like another one and another one and it will get really overwhelming. And that's why there's the the the famous clip of like Train derailed family died uh a video uh because I I was in a lot of donuts playing like Minecraft something and people were like yo dude uh um finally got cancer this and it's like oh dude everybody died it's like and it just got so heavy at one point and I was like yo guy like you know like I hate to say it but like did it feels like the whole broadcast even though we're going to like a positive point it was just tank and like mood. it's like something like reset happened it was like yo guys like I asked me up with you guys um I don't give a like shut the up man we gotta get this going you know? um and I can put my foot on the ground and I hate doing that you know and um yeah that's why that's why I would think it'd be more intense for girl streamer of course if somebody does a a big amount I want a lot of pressure and it's like hey dude like chill the out you know in a way that's like respectable especially like some girls know that's harder to kind of challenging because I don't know when I'm gonna get that much money again when you're a smaller streamer for sure because there's for girls it's harder to grow a huge audience because most of the audience on Twitch Overall, no matter if you're a girl like ice streamer is males in the audience and each male has like a different preference. And there's also like a weird vibe socially where a lot of males feel like they can't watch a female streamer without expecting something from her like fantasizing or like feeling like guilty for watching a girl. they're never gonna kind of vibe. true. so it's hard for girls to grow so that that pressure sure is there when you're a smaller streamer to like keep the ones that are actually donating and you want to make them happy, but without making them feel like they're actually going to get to get with you in real life because that creates actual safety issues. So I mean of course a bunch of them. um the thing is that uh while we're talking inside a lot of Christmas in chat and I was kind of like I was listening to you right? and then I was kind of building like what I was gonna say next because um I don't think people understand it. um growth on Twitch for girls and how it is like just overall all people think he's like oh I know it's easy to go on Twitch it's just just show titties. Whatever I would say it's easy to grow small. Yeah yeah you. you get to a a plateau really really quickly compared to a guy streamer because guys I feel like if you're if you're a guy and you can organically with no host or no connections, get above 100 viewers, Sky's the limit. Yeah, that means people find you actually entertaining versus girls. A lot of guys will follow or look just because she got nice titties or a nice ass or face whatever it is and the fact that if there's not as much, uh, competition, they have a good chance of actually getting your attention or whatever right? And that really caps out super hard, right? It's why, um I always wanted the broadcast for for the chat to feel like it's a lot of uh, outwards and not that much of an exchange too early on because it's like um then I have a way like we won't We'll never be able to like upscale these like upscale the operation right? We're gonna have a a one-to-one with Chatters all they would almost everybody in chat the whole way through which is never gonna happen. it's just it's not gonna happen Okay uh I'll open the scale doesn't make sense and then that kind of just breaks right? and also that's like out of your control so it is what it is. Yeah, definitely. um okay. very interesting and true. Thank you man. very nice. That was a real gun by the way. Um why is this guy so good looking? Yeah, thank you man. sorry I'm just thinking Some a few real comments in chat because there's a lot of rest last night on on my couch. Yeah, yeah. I got some rest. Yeah, but it's not like real Restless like whenever you get like drunk rest, it's like true. you're just gonna pass it out like I don't know I got like uh, like four shots and it was pretty bad. you drink often. No, just just socially. Yeah. I try not to get drunk too if I'm like hosting an event because then I feel like I'm responsible for everyone of course. Yeah. I Want to be drunk? Yeah, especially for when you're streaming. You have to be yourself. Yeah, like people don't get this. Okay, people will never get this again unless they actually live it. Even streamers that haven't done it yet, they probably don't even relate to this. Okay, this is something that nobody relates to when you're the one that has a streaming that is on that is on and on and online. Okay, it's like impossible to like. Have a good you'll have like a decent time that's like a good time. like you'll be Conley looking for like stuff and and people and it's like it's a lot. especially at a party where there's drunk people and girls with giant tits. You have to leave like nobody's showing nipple I need to go delete Clips right now who passed out? Oh I don't want to get back. You know what? you're not not as label for me I don't I usually have a pair of titties on my stream very often like add to that skill but I think I can see how they begin the very exhausting. Yeah yeah, it's very anxiety inducing for sure. Yeah, um, what do you think changed the most between like being a small server and a bigger one? What do you think like the most like impactful changes that uh, that you've seen? hmm that's a good question I'd say probably. um probably the the monetary Dynamic like we were discussing is the biggest change. Okay, yeah, just like how how stable it feels to stream because like as you get bigger, you know that you can't like. You can't really rely on donations as much because when people do see that view count, they equate in their head like you have money I don't have to financially support you so you have to kind of like go about like which which direction do I pivot my content in order to monetize it better because if you keep relying on donations when you get past like 2 000 viewers, people aren't going to feel like I need to support you anymore as much with donations. So maybe you set like start doing Media Share or like things for subs or whatever it is. there's some strategies. yeah, just like um um yeah. what is your like, um favorite content to create? like like generally not like from what you get out of it or what what the audience's response is like. What is it? Personally, the thing the most enjoyable that more the most like creatively like fun thing to do for you. uh well. iro like collabs. kind of like this if you're hanging out with friends I think it's super relaxing. a nice change of pace for sure and also for me. Animal streams I get to go to like my barn I have course streams I can go on trail rides with chat I have like my little camera that's really cool so you should come sometime I have multiple horses you could go travel if I'm in town I'll definitely come for sure I I Love animals Rodeo Do you like the rodeo you've been? oh and they're done Rodeo you should come. it's spring, it's like around Springtime so I think it's in March actually oh yeah and you look at them, do the the thing is that dangerous. uh I mean no, you don't have to be in the rodeo Oh You'll watch it. You're gonna watch it. There's like a Livestock Show there's shopping. There's Carnival too. If you can stream the carnival, that's something. A lot of fun. Yeah, that sounds sick. Yeah, yeah. and that's usually though. I'm not saying that that sounds like it's like actual fun. Also I Really like animals too. It's really, it's really cool hearing about. Like people that do like internet stuff all the time and do like streams like this and just like just chatting or games like see what their actual hobbies are. you know because I have like old Hobbies before I was a streamer like um like skateboarding, snowboarding, trampoline like these are all like actual Hobbies you never really know or see them right. It's cool to like see people sometimes. like just show a little bit and do a skateboard if you've done that where it's like chats like mounted POV style. Well I just from last time, uh I didn't last very long because I'm you know I'm getting old I'm uh, too old. Yeah. Also, I don't really go outside? Yeah? I don't go outside very much so my muscles are all like a trophy and almost, you know, like gym. Arc Yes. Awesome. You get a personal trainer stream that'd be fun that has actually been in the plans. you know, especially recently. I'm just it's been like uh I wanna like you know, break out a little bit you know, spread my wings a little bit. um I'm not even lying, it's a national thing, a national gym art. I was thinking to a gym guys at the party actually oh nice. yeah because I was thinking um if I want to do like a summit on this year or whatever I'll probably go to my old house I'm just gonna remodel it but to make so it works well. It was like a home gym with different camera setups and stuff that'd be sick like the house is well done for like the house sucks. overall I don't like it but it just kind of like the way it is. It's like super good for like uh camera setups and Studio and like uh if I had like a I had like three-car garage and also like I'm looking at the whole thing yeah um it's gonna be awesome. yeah you shot would love that. yeah they would actually like that. the progress little narrative storyline yeah see the problem at the bomb. well that's it I like sleep problems so it's kind of hard to get it going on because if you could sleep on camera you know it's for it's for Silverton but I I can't right now I just like I just can't like sleep on camera it's just gonna. it's gonna be it's gonna be bad yeah I have a like night terrors. it's just it's just a long story short. yeah it's pretty bad. Um I've got a few of those yeah that one that is not content. Do you think it's content? It is not. chat, chat, do nothing to play with. No yeah, you should probably ban you for like harm or whatever. Potentially they they definitely would. Uh nothing but yeah yeah. I mean some things I think are content. um some things aren't like I don't know. Uh, you know some bad things to be content like some some aren't I think that's just one of them. um chat. Give me, um, you know what? Watch this I have um I asked somebody that I know. give me, give me something that he, um because it's kind of hard. like if I prepare for this. it'd be easier to get like actual good questions. I think he's gonna oh holy he's got he's got a bunch of sugars. Um holy good question. Um have you had any other employment before you started becoming a swimmer and doing all this? Um I had a few different jobs I worked at the Opera in Houston in the ballet doing costume design. That's kind of like she's okay. Wait, how much is the cosplay stuff? you know? okay skills, costume design. So yeah. so you you make them or you think about them, make them okay and you know how to do all that with the scissors and whatnot? Yeah yeah. I noticed. so that's really fun. That's interesting. Uh, you don't mind asking how much would you gain paid over there doing that? Oh I was getting paid. It's like 40 an hour. which I guess like okay but it's like nothing can. We're like streaming right? Forty dollars an hour. It's like it's okay. Yeah so I said like you're like a multi multi talented. You're like other areas of talent that you're good at. That's kind of cool. Yeah. I Also had a character company. um for kids entertainment I still I still have it technically it's like under my name but okay I have other managers now we would dress up as Disney Princesses and go to hospital visits to like Make-A-Wish Foundation Yeah stuff like that and we would do festivals too around town. That's really cool. Birthday parties It was super fun. You saw that on your own. you just started from scratch I worked for a few of them in high school and I started my own in college. Okay yeah, how does that work? Then just give me like a rundown like uh, you? what? do you just go buy costumes or you find interest like what? Well I have some of them I made and then semi-ball online. but basically you dress up as the character, look close as close to like Disney World as you possibly can and then you would go to a party like usually like a four-year-old They're go to their birthday party and you pretty much like sing songs with the kids. you read stories to them, there was like face painting so you have to roll better character pretty much yeah you role play the character that's not Lego Financially yeah you play games, you dance, you color with the kids, you open presents with them. Damn a lot of times it was cool because then they would feed you too. especially if it was a Mexican party you would get like the good. oh okay like the whole buffet and then the best parties were with the parents hired separately, a carriage, horse and carriage and then they would have you arrive as the princess. that is budget but yeah I mean that? Okay jeez. okay basically it's like your birthday party every weekend you get. that's my fun. Yeah like 200 an hour to do that? oh my. God yes super good money but is like a lot of prep. a lot of talking, a lot of logistics behind it. I guess it's like um yeah, most of it's actually Improv Ross have like a basic set routine and really really fun. Yeah um see I want to be part of um I want to work at a uh, like a summer camp right? So I had applied for the job and I got the interview and they kind of hired me right? maybe the training one day and we went to a place in a facility and then we started getting trained. So I don't know how to like deal with kids like see like, uh, understand some of their troubles and how to deal with it just to hold the whole training right and I did the whole training was two days, it was super intense and by the end um they were like yeah you out of everybody out of all the other dudes and the other girls out there I guess I go down. they're like yeah like you're the only like non-hired you're like you're just tired and I was like that was my first time ever I had an interview and whatnot and I didn't get hired in my entire life and I was like okay, like why and they're like well when you get into like playing with the kids and singing songs well you just gonna sucked right? and they were like well it was it was. it's like Beyond repair they're like you were so bad we just can't hire you and I was like damn okay that's because they would sing a songs like there was no kids over there, it was all adults and they would all like start singing songs like that they should know right like and they would all sing together and I'd be like uh uh I couldn't sing it and again they said that was just not a good fit and then that was it and it just yeah. kind of kind of broke my heart a little bit. It gave me a good like because I'm usually able to get interviews and I'm gonna like uh on the Fly Just improving and stuff and I was like that just kind of crushed me and after that I became a janitor. but yeah, it is what it is that was uh, costume design I probably had when I was around 19 and then I started my own company at 20. So okay, yeah, because costume design I did both of those in the same year. Did you go to school before? Yeah. I did I did costume design at school too. Okay, wait was that is that like a like a trade school or something? Or yeah. yeah. okay, makes sense. Um I started streaming I guess in 2016. I think I was 22.

when you start shopping, Yeah I think so interesting. Okay, um, sorry I I I don't know. Um, yeah. I mean it's kind of a classic. It's kind of classic. It's got almost like a follow-up question, right? Like if you if you didn't if you didn't do streaming, you didn't swap, what would you then what were you done differently? What would you be? Now you think if I didn't do streaming at all ever? Yeah. Oh, kind of being like a dog trainer or something like that because I couldn't have been horse trainer because I couldn't afford horses without streaming. So I love you a dog trainer. How expensive are horses? Oh very expensive. I think each of my horses was probably gonna cost over the life. probably like four to five hundred thousand dollars in care. Wait just one hours. Yeah. I just want each horse. Yeah if I continue to board it once you get your own land, it can become a little more economical. But if you board at a facility that's like seven to eight hundred dollars per month just for the stall and then you add in the supplies. the Vets the training. All of that. It's the very expensive. You take a lot of care then. oh yeah, it's a full-time job. So what happens when if you have one that you like a lot and there's one and just kind of perish it from like some some rare disease and like that it's John GG Is it like an insurance you can have? You can get insurance on them. but yeah, typically you add a lot of money. Jesus yeah it's just a very Risky Business Okay yeah so what is the difference between like a horse like that and like a normal? Like a farm horse that just goes around and eats like wheat or whatever. Well I don't think about hours, they don't eat weed. Um I mean all horses are pretty much the same I guess more. The more expensive breeds will, uh, cost more initially. but I would say the average cost of maintaining a horse is pretty much the same regardless of breed. Unless you do like special training or do shows or whatever then that expense can imagine traveling. Oh that's cool. Yeah it's like my horses um like I have drum horses. those are a giant you've seen like the ones that pull like the Budweiser carriages and stuff with like the furry like the furry type. Hooves Yeah I have draft horses so my first one costs like 24 000. my second one is it actually a Friesian drum cross and that one I got at auction and I got into a bidding war so he's a bit overpriced but I love him anyway. he was forty thousand dollars. Jesus That's expensive. Yeah, and then the one I'm looking at right now like just just maintaining them or like it's most expensive, right? It's not even buying or maintaining them. Yeah, maintaining them cosplay more. The buying them is kind of like how people can make sure that the horse is going to a good home if they're like fancy breeds or whatever because if you can't afford the horse and you can't afford to care for them, definitely not. Yeah, so it's kind of like making sure they don't That's kind of crazy stop get bought by someone irresponsible. So yeah, it's very expensive way. Okay, so they have to like care for with them for years and spend that much money on it. Yeah, and then they sell it to you like just I mean I'm not saying just 40K but still, it's kind of like they had it before. They have to maintain it. Whatever. Yeah, 140k. So why is it so cheap then to them? Usually if because they have their own land right? So for them, it's not as much as you if they're like a breeder because they'll have uh, like maybe like 20 stalls on property and then they just pay someone like minimum wage basically to like take care of the horses like just a stable hand. so it's a lot more economical If you have your own land, it's the boarding them if you board each horse that starts to add up a lot of it's. like people get their own ranches. Let me ask you something that's more um of of scale. um what does it like all mean like where's like the the end Golem what is something that you think if anything went well and you would do anything that you wanted to right? Like where does it all end? What are you building? What was the whole big picture of it for me? uh I just I really love horses. so for me it's more of a passion than like a business. Everything. Everything. The stream, All the stream. This stream is funding the animal Ranch gold but everything. Everything I mean I mean if you want to go one by one okay just so this, go for this at the end and then just the whole picture. What does it all mean? Does that make sense or not like what? I want to do my own version first so you get an idea you mean like what do I want to do with my life long term? Yeah like all the things you're doing that are like uh either your your hobbies or your your job and you're so nice, more creative like it's all going somewhere right like some sort of towards like not an end goal but you're creating something. Is it not like a vision for the whole thing? yeah I have a vision I want to take my stream and use that to educate people for animals and I want to like rescue dogs and horses I want to either have a my own Sanctuary or I want to be able to work at an existing sanctuary and like support it with like huge donations and stuff like fund it, fund it and help save more animals and then I also want to have my own separate like Empire of like hundreds of Acres hopefully and have my own like uh kind of like a like a dude ranch you know where people can go stay to experience Ranch lifestyle but just like hang out with animals and use that property also to help save rescue like rescue horses that would get put down at the racetrack or whatever. yeah therapy horses and stuff have like my own like a little bit of variety there. yeah a few different types of cherries. that's really cool. Yeah because um so yeah I bought like a a gas station right? um or multiple of them. Is it one or multiple I have multiple now? yeah no games, no game. um that's why I asked. It seems like you have like multiple goals and like different Avenues of getting there it seems like you have like um even past the stream or what do you pass like what I watch when I'm watching you know just like um something that be on the screen and like like goals right? That's why I want to know like where is this going what are you doing yeah like for me I think down the line I want like at least try this might be successful or not a new like passion project I'm on like I just try to um make it like a clothing company or I'll be sick yeah like my own line of stuff that I like you know and I don't really care if people people like it right because of course a business has to be over Duty they have to like it because they have to buy it I spend money on it, they have to buy it and they have to make a profit number like that. like since I'm like so fortunate and like having uh the stream and good streams of income right I can afford to like I guess sacrifice more than other people uh right. So I can have more of like a passion I feel like when things are passion driven, very hot and cold and it's completely trash and he just kind of dies or does super well because it's passion driven right right? and I'm gonna like take the gamble there and it's like you know, maybe we'll get something that's really cool. Maybe I know I don't know something about myself that will end up right. Yeah I feel the same way because like some of the coolest things in life, they just don't make enough money. Or if you ask anyone what would you like to be doing with your free time? Most of the time things that people really enjoy are not profitable. so it the goal is just like raise enough money to where you can actually just continue doing what you like for the rest of your life without worrying about the profitability. Yeah, that's pretty much what I was um yeah well I was gonna a lot of Tourism people I actually agree with this a lot of aware in my life Jesus um any um yeah that's a good question any um whether personally or professionally what is this something that you look back on and you truly regret not like a lower red like oh I should have I should have eaten egg this morning like something like an actual regret uh I guess not buying Bitcoin when it was pennies opportunity for sure this opportunity yeah um another thing I guess is is when I was first starting off even though I have like a lot of money now I kind of wish that while there was less saturation that I had gone more of a like a mainstream Creator route a little bit kind of like kept that balance because you could still have like a perfectly brand friendly like uh like Instagram Twitter stream and then later on move into like sexy stuff to really monetize like the platforms because I feel like it's harder to start sexy content and then move into mainstream audience because you have like the brand association with yourself. Also people that interested is on the detective stuff will will pull you pull you back super hard. That's something that I kind of noticed moving out of Center areas can be harder than not uh than others like. it's like moving at a gaming to do IRL isn't too hard right? Yeah I just uh something I noticed with uh other girls or whatever is whenever they do other stuff then like there's actually stuff the pole is like it's very hard. Yeah um yeah because it's harder to transfer your your Coomer audience yeah into watching you do other things that aren't Coomer related. Yeah when you have clothes on and stuff but you can always easily from a mainstream audience get more views if you start doing sexy so it's just I think building up non-sexy is actually probably a more reliable yeah it makes sense. Yeah long term you don't have so many hands, especially since your audience matures with you. you know, true true yeah I feel like um I feel like I'm like older than my chat these days which doesn't Doesn't really scare me that that much at all because um, like people of my age I think are boring. uh that makes sense. People that are like oh my ideas, they're just interesting or kind of boring I feel like it's just boring. It's just people are getting old. yeah and I don't mind um, appealing to like a younger crowd or uh, you know, just kind of being like mentally youngsta or whatever because it's like ah, you know you'll always want to be there. Like whenever you get older, you always want to go back. you know, right? Like whenever you're younger you're always kind of looking up and as as the moment there's like a point where like now you start looking the other way around like oh I want to be young I want to look younger and stuff like that? you know? oh for sure yeah, was that it that you only regret that Bitcoin and insect yourself which is fine I Try not to regret too much in my life because if you had taken other you know taken other steps past life, you may not be where you are now. So if you like where you are now, it's kind of hard to say what you would change because you don't know if you'd still be in the same place. Yeah I have the same philosophy tell Chad about this Uh, not often, but if they have let them know a lot of times. I I literally have like no regrets, right? Let's go I wish things Sometimes some things went a little bit differently right? but at the end of the day it's like um you? you don't really know what's gonna, what would have happened right? You went the other route you know? um, no regrets. Yeah, that's that is very true. Well I also I feel like it's bad. There's the thing as regret because you can't You can't really fix it. you can only learn from it. So if you have regrets, they're gonna. they're gonna pull in that you're getting like your mood is getting pulled down your mentality. There's no point to think about things. you would have changed in the past too much because you can't go back in time. You can only look forward. Yep. do um, do yourself as do you see yourself as like a pioneer of whatever you do over your your art form and whatever your section is. in a way. yes, but also no. okay I think um as far as the E-girl space goes, I can Pioneer At times you know where it's like kind of like setting the direction for other girls to go because I really don't know any other E-girl who's like bigger than I am. So when it's when it's like what do I do next I don't have anyone to look to really so that's kind of annoying but at the same time I Also know that in the past like things like the hot tub meta or like the earlooking ASMR like I didn't start it I just jumped on the bandwagon. and because I have more followers. people associate me with pioneering so it's kind of like yes and no at the same time. Yeah, that's something that yeah, uh. it's like The Tick Tock phenomenon right? Or most people that start a trend or just doing funny, even something good, you'll never see them right. People that are that are bigger than them. We'll see what they do and they'll just bury them to the bottom and you'll never ever see them. So the actual Pioneers are pretty much invisible, right? It's why it's I think it's a big quality. Um I mean I seriously as I'm not gonna elaborate Why? because SEO as a as a Pioneer right? Because you know it's not that I watch a lot that much of whatever kind of you do. but I know a little bit of the game in the meta and like uh with a like a smaller and do sort of thing. certain things relax, try to be weird, you need to chill the out. Yep, uh um no no I mean that and it's kind of cool to see sometimes people that innovate but that are also at the top right? right? So they're like they are the go. They are the Golden Goose and the golden egg. Yeah right, that makes sense Yeah because sometimes you can definitely tell somebody's just a golden egg, right? You know for a fact when you're watching a golden egg and that's just gonna happen how it goes, um, chat. but I Remember that is that a Golden Goose is somebody who's like like no matter why or how, they'll always have the ability to produce something new that people want and innovate and create right. They'll make something somehow right? Um, that is successful. So not me in a lot of ways. I do small things that that I pick up on and other people do I'm not gonna tell you about it. Okay I think most big big shimmers okay, um, have somehow uh Ben or are golden geezers or lasers? What's the what's? the plural? geese? golden geese? yeah, plural. Goose Okay so I do that in school English Second Language Um, that's interesting All right. um I actually enjoyed that. um that parallel because I you're gonna. It's always kind of cool and have an idea and have like a male mindset and I asked something about it and it kind of kind of collides. Yeah, you know for sure. what are your uh, your biggest fears overall Oh I think biggest fears would be losing uh, relevancy too soon because it's one thing to have a lot of money. but it's different from having enough to do what you want forever right? because you have enough. I probably have enough money to like retire and live mostly how I want to. But like the huge dreams like the thousands of Acres the like multiple foundations that takes like crazy money, you know it's like a difference. Some a lot of people don't understand that. It's like there's like rich and then there's like rich rich. Yeah, yeah, enough for sure. Um damn that's that's actually good. Um I think like being so close to that goal? Yeah yeah. like letting it fall off before you actually seen it. Yeah. I mean if you think what you're doing has a way to get there right and so it's a grandiose goal. Of course you're gonna feel certain ways about like not getting there and it can be. Do you think that's a motivator for you? Oh definitely yeah, that's kind of keeping me going. It's like um I might as well get it while I can because every year there's new influencers, especially for females who are younger, more attractive who are already in the meta like of The Tick Tock They're already climbing the different social media platforms that are newer that I may not be as big on. so it's kind of like a time crunch really. Oh okay. Um, so okay. so so this like look and game is. it's a big portion of why it's so competitive. Yeah, definitely so same way. like uh, like younger fortnite dudes and like switching other games. And they're like, really cracked. They're really cracked, right? Because they're like, um, they just grew up with just playing games and they have a lot of mechanics to it, right? A lot of movement, a lot of buttons, a lot of inputs, a lot, a lot of different abilities or whatever. and now they're starting to bring to the other games. It's this big wave of actual good. Gamers And it's it's kind of scary for like all Boomers because they, yeah, that's it's really escaping them. Um, like if you luckily for me, um I just uh. I just play I tick tocks and watch chat. So I don't have to any computer condition there. Okay, so another field and what motivates you more than fear or love? Oh I would say it's a balance really because if you what ratio then just probably I would say 60 love and 40 fear because like the thing that you want, you're like oh, that'd be so cool and at the same time fear is kind of like chasing you to run faster to it because you're like, yeah, true, better go get it. Um, because if you just constantly, uh, are motivated by fear I think that almost creates so much anxiety and pressure that you tend to actually procrastinate towards whatever goal you want. So you can't let that one be the overwhelming because then you just can go into depression or burn out or whatever. That was actually really good. Answer: The reason why I think it's really good I thought you're too good at these questions. It's kind of annoying me. Um, because 60 40 will be more of love than fear because the reality is that when you're doing things out of fear I mean um, things gonna sometimes will snowball. kind of lose their lose their touch right? They lose their nature. but if you're motivated it too much by love then a lot of times you would just become obsessed with like daydreaming about the goal and miss the time window needed to actually get there because up here kind of keeps pushing you towards it while you're daydreaming. yeah, you're not. better balance. Yep, okay um try to be a bit annoying. like a little bit of a daycare. They're saying I should talk like like you guys act like I'm scared of this. Okay listen my Tick Tock likes are really bad. okay I get that okay I'll show you my likes again. Okay, it's not. It's not even. it's not even okay I hate to talk so much. yeah I'm not sure. Chats okay I also chat for like a second I've seen my camera's out. uh if I switch switch scenes like this see like I don't know why I did that uh like that chat you know what we could oh my God this is terrible. oh no, it's worse. see that that's the other camera sorry I just do both. uh like this custom and then um charges the 1080. Maybe that might look better. oh um because I used to have the problem where I made it too high res and it would kind of like look weird. Yeah, it should be fun. um I I Tested this morning actually on stream. Okay, that's kind of like ready to go. Okay okay there's your chat. Now you have the reaction cam. Okay, you're happy now you guys happy. Yeah I'm just I'm just saying I'm only doing this because I'm I'm not scared of myself. Okay I'm gonna start away okay and it is what it is. but it's not weird so you can think it's weird I don't mind. Okay okay I don't even think I should show this on chat chat dude I don't think this is this is okay. this actually might be POS but listen it is what it is. It is what it is is that is that your for you. Is that what you look at is your recommended? No this is my likes oh your likes. oh that's even worse. Okay it is bad. It is bad. Um but okay because Chad sent me this while I'm streaming it right and it is what it is I mean I mean don't you have something called down Bad I Do yeah Down Bad.com Well that's like that's my link trees. URL Yeah okay, all my stuff. Well that's that's kind of how it is. So that's like this is. like my my um oh you're down bad of course. but this is like you. whenever I'm live people people will send me this. How much would I have to pay you to put a down bad neon sign in the back? um an insane amount insane amount. Um so they sent me like this while I'm while I'm streaming here and I think it's a little bit I always tell me this I think it's a little bit unfair right? sometimes I don't really get to see them end for their entire in the entire I just like them so I could look at it later but you know what the reality is I never actually end up looking at it later. Okay so I I this is my uh I have this as my as my savior. um I don't actually go back and look okay, this is true. That's true. I don't give bookmarks. That's my old computer. What's your favorites tab look like on your browser? Um nothing. Um my favorite. Some like we mean like my bookmarks Yeah. I have none of them. oh you don't do that. Nope. Oh wow, that's crazy. Yeah. See this? it really doesn't Yeah, all business. Um yeah. but um I did a sweep a long time ago like right before I came no uh, last month because I logged I logged my my Jeep I loved my computer with new computer with my old Gmail and then my Gmail when I was when I was uh you know before streamer or like at the beginning. okay and then I look at I look at bookmarks and I see a ton of it was all the way to the bottom and I was like yo I don't you know and even when I log out it's it's it sticks there. um it doesn't actually just remove it, it just stays there and I was like uh okay I can't have this I just went and swooped it all of it and it took me like an hour. yeah did you uh, did you do that after the patriarch draw or before that uh before before before smart uh also believe it or not, um yes I would consider myself a Coomer but you know what it is I think I think I'm I'm a reason Moana Ah that's true I mean um I I don't think aborigine boundaries in that in that regard I don't I don't watch like like odd shits or like awesome awesome. You know this is back to um, to uh, some of the line of work of your uh of your friends or whatever or whatever you guys do. um it's just a personal thing like I don't seek a lot of like personal personal like inner uh, like actual me attention from creators that I look at right? So I don't lose like a lot of like only fan subscription or I actually do none of it. Um, because it's like a for me, it's like energy, one side energy I want to like just be on receiving end and I don't give a what comes out? it's not. What about like? it's not about original between me and them and what I know about them, it's more of like what? I'm getting out of it right? right? So i