Okay, okay, um, this is um okay n asks when you reach the stage of being set in life from streaming how did you feel and how did things change I think that question has a lot of components to it and it has to be broken down. but I think they're all like healthy things to talk about and share and don't sh them. um I feel like I I feel like I was set for life way before I was set for life in um in terms of money. So when I stopped being a about my abilities and my Um and my skills and my value I was always thinking it that my value was fluctuating and would go away and that sucked for a time because it gives you Imp POS syndrome which is very common in people that make content creation.

It makes you feel like you're not worth it or you're not good enough and that sucks. but then but then um after a while when you realize that like doesn't matter how far down you go, you go and you always go back up and you can always, uh, get new heights, you start building what we call uh, intrinsic value and in the value is like value that you know isn't tied up to a number or something. something that you canedo. Again, if things fall and crash and things happen, you can build it up again, right? And having that ability makes you feel rich even though you don't have the money and that's how I felt when I um left OverWatch League because um I didn't I didn't have that much money I mean I was pretty good but I wasn't like I wasn't like loaded and after I left I did variety and like that and people still watching enjo the stream and I still the content I thought was really good I was like wow today I didn't even and I at that point I had already removed the viewer account.

um I was like that was actually just I could just I could feel this was a good content or that I did good content and I have to look at Stats to tell me that it was good content and after that I felt like well if would I do that on YouTube or on Twitch or on somewhere I'll find somebody or or people or a company that will find Value in that and then I'll I'll be set. So I feel like I was already set even when I wasn't right and that madebe that gave me the ability to take bigger risks and to stop being so defensive of my future. Um because I could build it I I could build it again if I needed to and then I and I have it. Um, which gave me like a lot of security right? But then I realized that when I have all of that it sometimes it'll make other people want it right and something that I I realize is that the people around me aren't all safe and aren't all secure and aren't all set for life right and that creates sometimes um Discord between people and it makes things different because because the way that I act the things that I do the things I can justify well I I can justify for them or whatever does that make sense and then um maybe maybe some people they they want that and whatever and I felt I always felt like it was trash because even though I feel like I was Secure and I was all good um other people want the same sort of like security or whatever um which is I guess enough I just felt like at a at a time um when I finally like was doing better in terms of money whatever right I don't think you understand like when I say when I say that I wouldn't spend any uh, money like ever I wouldn't spend ever like I didn't buy anybody gifts I didn't buy myself gifts I didn't buy I didn't buy T-shirts I bought nothing because I felt like um I almost felt like I was crowdfunded.

um and that is hard to explain but it just didn't feel good because um it felt like I somebody was giving me money and I was spending it and it never that never felt good for me. Well I am but I'll exp I'll explain it in another way in a minute chat. I'm R about this question but there's a lot of components to it. There's lot of components right? So I I don't want to ramble I I'll I'll give you one know.

Okay, so then what was I saying Yeah Yeah! so I wouldn't spend any money because I felt like it wasn't mine and and you can say whatever you want about this I'm not here to sell you on the idea I'm not here to convince you I'm the question at face value and I'm just telling you I didn't say it was a it was justified I'm saying that's how I felt so I felt like the money was never mine so I never spend any of it and I was always hard to um people around me because everybody around me was like oh, you have a lot of money uh we could do this, We could do that, We could do this. We could do that and I was like well I don't want you because and it was hard for me to explain it to them and then I just always act the same way whether I had money or not and then for them they didn't really get it because it's like they see all the money coming in and it's like it's that's does that make sense So then and then and then one day after years are you kidding me? You bust a ass? Um okay I still uh, hold up I'll put some Loy or some this going it's going to get too crazy. Okay okay okay this this part is very important. this this this part I'm about say is very important and then I was able to get a twitch contract which is a on to one with twitch instead of um just being a normal partner as like an upgrade partner whatever right? and then I started getting what you would call corporate money.

so instead of like um instead instead of having the money from like all the views or whatever it was more like it was very corporate money. Now it's like money from Amazon and at that point when I when I started getting that well I was like I got very I didn't get destructive but I got like um I got the opposite at that point instead of having feeling guilty that like if I have like I have like people's money now I was like bro now I got like corporate money and now I want to just get rid of it almost. you know cuz it's a it's a whole different ball game right? um it's really dumb. it's really it's really weird.

uh andity is is that just felt me like like even even though I didn't I still didn't care about money in itself. everybody around me isn't me cared about it and that always created the distance between me and other people cuz it's really annoying when you have something they don't care abouts and everybody around you cares more than you do about your own thing. It's like if you buy like a Nintendo and it's like everybody really cares about it and you don't just want to like hang out with them but like for them it's like oh yeah D I really want to play Nintendo and like yeah I have it but I don't I don't I don't care for it that much like I and all all people want to do is just play with play with it that that's GNA that's going to how how I felt a little bit that make sense or not. um and that changed a little bit which kind of sucked.

um that sucked and then oh this is stupid yeah I'm I'm just going to I'm just going to bend this guy I'm not going to bother that um I don't know why I saw that I just I just B this um yeah I have I have um I have real estate houses and stocks and yeah I have crypto and standard stocks and and high-risk socks and some absolute dog. um uh I'll about a minute I have a bunch of other ones um I was talk about like fan stuff before. yeah I like that a lot. That's a good question I mean I think I spoken about it before for that's more of a personal question.

and I I think some people can learn from that and some people that that I feel since I'm old now or older people think this is negative. people think it's like a negative thing and it's not. um I think in my core personality there are two components that that're very important to me. um that sound bad.

but since I've mastered them because I've always lived like that, they're they're kind of good. I have one a super addictive personality and two a super self-destructive personality which mixed together can kind of like go crazy. but it's not it's it's manageable. Um, these are things that I think like make me who I am, whatever and I don't want to fight them too hard because um for me being self-destructive has never been a a really a problem because I always destroy things that I was able to create and make again so like a lot of times a lot of times.

Well here's an example: I play OverWatch okay and I back in the days I was like always nearing like top 10. um even before I was a streamer nobody everybody knew me on solo. Nobody knew me from uh from stream I I I stream but nobody I mean nobody the we watched um and there is stretches. There is times where like I I would play like 15 hours type and I' be at be in the morning it be like 5 in the morning Sun's up already right and the cues are really bad.

So you're getting like really bad matchmaking because nobody plays the game at that point. Um I was getting games that are like 2,000 rated under me. so like I was playing I was top 10, I was playing games with diamond players and they were just not playable. They were just not winnable.

Okay and then I would lose and I would lose and I would lose and I would and after like 15 losses in a row instead of going to bed I was like you know dude I don't care man this and I would keep playing and I would keep playing and sometimes I would lose like brother I I would lose like 20 plus games in a row and I would drop down like I I would drop because when when you win when you win games, you don't have 100% win ratees right you you're going to end up 60% win rates at lower at lower ratings. So it's like it would take me days to make back the rating that had I had lost on that one nights and every time I still did it okay because it felt so destructive. it felt like I wanted like that pain or whatever I I I wanted that and it feels really good When you're self-destructive as to destroy things, it feels really good. It's unhealthy, it's bad, and you shouldn't do it.

But the real is that For me, it felt really good to destroy things. especially when I know I have the ability to build it again. And the reason why I think it's a good thing overall is that I learn a lot from losing and I learn a lot from going down when it's time to go back up again and knowing what to do. When things are really bad and the things that you do, you become like skilled at being down bad right? And whenever you don't want to self-destruct you, you're trying, you're doing good right and you go down and things break in your face and it's very very tough right? Well now now people get uncomfort.

Most people will get uncomfortable cuz they'll be like oh dude, things are really bad right now. um I feel so lost. but when you're somebody who self-destructs a lot, being down Bad is like your home. It's like you master it.

so at that point you're down bad. you're like okay, so what I mean I I I've been here most of most most of my life. I've been here all the time I'm always here so like how is this a challenge? It's it's become BEC very very easy to overcome um, challenges and obstacles when you're used to being that state and when you master that, you feel Invincible because it makes you feel like whatever happens, you're going to make it regardless. So even though I do think that momentarily when I do St destru Behavior it's bad I don't I don't like it but I know it's happening I try not to be too defensive of it I try just take it.

uh think it for what it is. you know because I I know that like it'll it'll it'll pan out. um and that that feels really good? Okay Ging is fine. think I I I I think I I over over overdo it I think I over over like I think games are fine I just I just kind of.

um it's obvious that I I learned a lot in my head. what I say when I think is completely different things that was and I missed it yeah this is um yeah I just yes yeah absolutely yeah. my my trust in people is completely destroyed. uh what else you play games you actually enjoy instead of sh stopping and not playing on stream like some s you talking about.

um I think a lot of it become um I want to like waste people's times so I feel like um it's like not good enough or like I'm wasting people's time makes me feel kind of guilty. It makes me want to like do other things. It's a bad behavior but I I know it happens a lot I have an accountant he's like a crack I think I think he's I think he thinks crack I these are both fun questions. Why is there in here? Why is that? um oh come on man, you really did that I didn't read that um I think actually I know um there's a bunch of things that that something.

I'm getting my goals and um the main thing is um sleep problems are really really bad. um um um um um um that's really bad. Some like anxiety and other things are kind of annoying. um but that doesn't that never.

That never stopped me. but um yeah the obvious is really annoying. I'm I'm give it a that's just annoying. it never never.

if I'm doing anything, it just made me upset set um made me learn a lot I I have I've adulted a lot ever since um things started which is a good thing at the same time. um I Always believe that certain lessons come at a price and you pay with its money or time to learn something you want to learn it but it with it costing not a lot and it sucks. it does cost a lot but if you think about it, most of my like you know, like like getting scammed right? Most of my lessons around being scammed were all already learned from when I was really young I played Diablo 2 I played I played um wow I learned a lot about it right? So like these are lessons that at the time were very costly but in the general in the General in in the general sense of the word not very costly and made me act differently and then I I got to learn. But my current situation made me learn about a lot of things.

um and I never want to associate um poorly like a lesson and being overly defensive cuz well you don't want to become you, you don't want to get like let's say let's say I don't know somebody wrongs you. you don't want to see everybody like that because then it sucks and it's like well you didn't learn anything, you're just being you, just being an asset at that point cuz now put in the same box and now you. you're just. you're ruining possible good things in your life because you're you're over analyzing it.

Um so I think I've been doing a pretty good job at separating both but still looking up from it and I feel for a long time I hadn't like um I wasn't even on my own side it I feel like a lot of times like I didn't even I wasn't on my own side it because I I just sometimes you don't believe that people can change that much and it's like I don't know you I I got carried away. you know? um that sucks. Um, but in terms of actual goals and like that, not a lot of things I think I think sleep sleeping problems are really bad because then you have less energy and energy is everything and that really was sucked. but other than that, not much.

I'm kind of chilling to be honest. um there isn't that much that I missed that on. um one thing I really want to do is do like shows, stuff like that and you know what I actually real that I'm just bad at it I'm just bad and you know what? that's fine. You don't have to be good at everything I'm just dog you know and once you learn that like it grounds you lot I wanted to try it I wanted to try it and it sucks that the stream is bigger now cuz like it's like everything has to be successful these days right? but it's like it sucks cuz it's like I just it I I Had to try it and one of the things one of some of my goals were all around that.

so being able to try it I to say okay, we suck at this. Boom we're done. That's fine right? Um, so most of my goals aren't achieved because I have have obstacles or problems. they're just different goals I just Chang I just changed U goal line because I feel like just streaming every day and doing doing this.

Doing this thing is cool now. but I want to try other stuff um that are kind of related right? see if I was good at it? Have fun with other things but I'm just better at it so that's easy. It's I didn't give up I just like we just don't have the massive ability to do that I could learn it I could be better, but it's very timec consuming and I don't think the result will be that natural I want to be natural and the loading curve can be entertaining. but I don't think I I don't think it would have been and no I it would been pretty bad to be honest.

Um I think at that point it's not worth it. Uh, okay, that's out the way. Um yeah. I think I I think that was actually good Question answer: I'll go it really fast I enjoy moving because I've given up entirely I'm not kidding.

It took me years to believe this. I've completely given up on settling down. I I I give up that that you know what I said I don't like I don't like certain things taking away from the main thing and blah blah blah h n that ship I that I don't give a um that that doesn't apply here I get I get one I get a free pass I get a card I I I I check it in um I don't care I use all my experiences and the conclusion is I can't stay in one place and I don't give a that. Okay, so yeah I enjoy moving because I have to uh yeah, maybe if I retire, maybe I don't know probably not what it Miss say to me that I I changed my opinion about it I think um something I often forget when looking outwards at people I fail to look inwards simultaneously and understand that some things have a ridiculous and astronomical amount of details and small components that draw a picture and sometimes the picture gets drawn for you and you forget um, that other components happen and then I don't give the people the leeway that I would have I like to be given to myself and it makes things blurry.

It makes things hard to understand and it makes it so you lose track of what's actually real and that sucks. Um, that doesn't make sense I don't think I think I don't think I spoken in code I think if you could write down what I said I didn't it make sense? um I have absolutely zero positives or I gain nothing from these friendships or these people. these people I learn I learn nothing. Um, quite literally.

Um I just did it because I wanted to and I felt like things snowballed out of proportion when comes up to my involve when it to my involvement and my I just felt like I it's not really what I wanted to do and what I wanted in respect I would have done it differently and um, it's kind of trash. uh uh, the people true love exists. Yeah, just find the right people. Okay, this is something okay that people are going to be very defensive about and I'm going to tell you how I'm going to tell you how it is I'm going tell you how it is um all I Think the problem is that these days this is not only with this community I think it's the internet as a whole.

People want to set fires everywhere and then um, blame everything else but themselves for uh, the fire being there and it's a it's a very core component of the current social media. uh meta? um people want to post some really weird um and you know you know, like the big tweet guys that get a lot of likes on on Twitter and in on your for you page. all these guys will post the most D gen and when things blow up in their face they'll take a step back and be like yo I just reposted something. some somebody posted that I just I just retweeted I don't even know what the that even is I I just and that's kind of where we're at.

Um so I think we're we're in this internet meta of like and I'm way too I don't I don't mind the whole everything burning down because it's like I think most things should be burned down to be honest um but when it's our it's always different I mean dude everybody wants all the buildings to burn up until it's their building then they every then they care and it's guys. what the is this guys? oh yeah some arrived guys burn down the buildings I don't give a bro I'm chat as man I'm chatted the out burn that bruh wait my house what the is your problem what the is this what is wrong with you bro that's kind of how we are right now in I think in this state of society but um yeah that's my thought about that. um so how does that correlate to the community that correlates as in um people have been doing like really weird in my opinion over the years and then it's gotten like worse. What is this game? It's got the worse to the point where like um people try to like just people try to find like the the the more the most mundane thing I've done so just find like the stupidest um which is my was is really really odd.

It's like it's like people generally want to be Pa social they want to be and it's like at times I did things that like generally Fosters that behavior and then I stopped and then um and then and then a afterwards it's like well we acted par social because he did that like a year ago Dude so like we want to go hard and it's like but he did like two years ago so we're going to go way harder and then oh dude like I only posted this guy's address because like he he like said um yo guys this like years ago and it's like people like justify more and more and then they do the dumbest and back in the days we used to have a community more towards like the style of like Foren where it's like actual good banter, good jokes, like just just like the goofiness of existing just being goofy and like oh dudee this guy's a Hunchback dude like posture LOL W and these days it's not like posture l w it's like Yo dude disgusting ass piece of dog posture looking like piece of trash ugly piece of dog it's like okay like I think we've went from like actual funny creative banter SL memes creation to actual degenerate insult based Behavior which really is like people think it's like a more but it's it's a less you you lose out on like a lot of cool because that brings stuff like oh dude I'm going to SN in this game and I'm going to call him a mop head it's going to be really funny and then people think oh wow this guy maybody laugh what I'm going to do then I'm going to log in and I'm just going to I'm just going to call him the N word Right Guys, Guys, Right guys, right? That's so funny dude. And it's like people try to ramp up like their impact. um, without the Finesse and without the good intention and without the actual thought behind it. And what that causes is that everybody jumps on that bandwagon and then we have less good things and that's just kind of How It's been recently literally and you could have B me you want and people said it.

Oh yeah, dude. Well we started using Lil Bro and insulting it because that it's his and like I said earlier, the justification people were like dude, he collabed with Kai like two times for a total of 1 hour a month for like that's like that's like two hours bro, like we're like them now dude, like we don't give a like, it's it's like people just justify the behavior through a bunch of Hoops and that was one of them. It's like I just want I I've always thought there's a massive amount of value in life when it comes down to clash. So what I think Clash is is, um, when you put somebody in it in the wrong box on purpose like you put, let's say just okay here's an good example.

when they put Like Rappers in like a an Esports tournament like when they had like Lil yachty playing a Rainbow Six right I think it's I think it's Deen um and I think that's what grounds people down because it's funny because you you put somebody in the wrong spot and you see how they act and it makes good funny results. and I thought I think that's funny as I think that's like that's I think that's pure comedy. okay and that's funny. and when I saw like the the kai Aiden guys I relate to nothing of these guys L not nothing like maybe couple things here and there whatever and I thought these guys I don't know what the they're about I'm going to jump in whatever they're doing so a bunch of like um even some you guys remember this um we played um Friday 13th right and then I jumped in there and it was a disaster.

It was the most Deen content of all time right? because we had nothing in common and it was funny and I always thought this is like one of the best content is when you put people that don't belong in the same in same and it becomes a d genfest and my my the nature of why I did those things was I just want to have fun and then of course like I said earlier about the other topic which kind of goes with the same box like dude he's play with these guys because they have views he's play with these guys because they're trending play because because and people made all these narratives of why I did it right and then they justed a bunch of hate and a bunch of like weird Behavior change because I did it most like I Just Want to Have Fun me people I want I just want to make content like it's It's a raw positive for everybody and people forget that back in the days when when when I did that these guys didn't have viewers literally, they just they just didn't like all the kai had like like like 4K I think at the time or something these guys were just all quote unquote nobody's literally and people forget that because it was about making content. It wasn't about getting views or getting traction or some nefarious ending you want me to have and you want me to P me as a as as a bat like I just did for fun and now that they have views now everything changes well you did that because guys it before nobody guys it um upscaling numbers for it for it to make sense to you. If you're let's say 40K 50k 60k, Andy whatever right and I hate you working on andies But this is people that that brought this discussion up on me. If you're talking about if you're talking about leeching of other people, you have 60k 4K is a nobody, It's you're not going to gain much out of that.

like if your goal if your if your goal. if your goal initially was to get views and go crazy, you're not going to DM a fork Andy at 60 to ball out. So you make the argument that I did it to ball out your argument doesn't make sense. That's what I'm trying to tell you is that doing these things wasn't made to ball out.

it was made to have fun I mean people, people forget. Among us we played people that had that had four viewers. Dude at the time when things were blown up I had like 80k viewers 70 bro. I played with people that had less than 10 viewers.

That's it Because what? Because Want to Have Fun want to make content that that was the. That was the the root nature of the behavior. so it sucks people paint that as something else. that it's not because I don't think I've ever collabed somebody because they had views if anything.

I've in past recent times I've quite Lally declined multiple big celebrity showups because I thought there was no content there. there's no value I thought me and them um it's not that we don't line up is that it just feel like it's it's just going to. it's going to be bad. awkward is good because it's G it but just some aren't meant to be I'm going tell you who because I want to make make people feel bad and make them feel lesser.

um but there's been a B there's there's been a a big big amount of um yeah, this's been a bunch Dude, it's people know I'm not going to people said their names in chat. um and that's it that that's just. that's just it. I I truly believe in making good things I think I can have a better stream with a zero viewer Andy doing dumb that I think is actual good content than having Beyonce on stream and having bad content cuz then all I'm doing is that I'm just getting a raw numbers from people who don't care because I'm doing something that has no value I want to do something that has value and provides value for people regardless.

that's a goal anyway. moving on. so I think they can be change in that way. Uh, which kind of sucks cuz like we we get to do less things people forget when we act dog and have some behav.

we can do less the same way IRL gets dangerous and we can do this because of it. Like I told you this last time the the IRL with Kai was one of the most stressful day of my life and it's it's because I know what things are like and I had to be on my a game the whole time in my head I had to like I was having fun I had to look that I I wanted to show that I was having fun I was having fun at the same time my brain was in overdrive like I was thinking about like camera angle. uh don't do this. don't do that I I was trying to save everybody cuz these guys don't do IR very often and they don't know what can happen and it was a I Didn't talk about anything that happened that day but it was a few components that like I had to micromanage.

It was like it was my brain was on fire like my brain was going. it was crazy. um oh more thunder outside. So my job.

well it was my job by default. I mean uh the what the Me: Moxy are still chill I love Moxy SMY never really wanted to, um, appear on camera. You know what? I'm going to I'm going this topic I'm going to approach it really fast because I don't nobody will care about this. Um, this is a very complicated thing.

So um The Sweet Spot in life is when you find people that all your goals align together and anything Works in tandem without even talking about it because you don't have to say anything. You don't have to do anything, you just exist and the the people that you're with or whatever you just know you just know with Moxy it was that. That's how it was. It was me and him against the world.

um at the time especially with doing like variety people forget about this variety was bro. uh people people don't me Moy play the dumbest game when we're complet out of energy like and we just wanted to um, entertain and want to want to build something. We want to build stuff stuff. so we play OverWatch to continue like building a community or whatever cuz that's what people cared about at the time.

um but also want to do stuff that people will care about pass OverWatch which is a variety and then we're playing the dumbest games and we had no energy doing it and sometimes it was miserable. but it didn't matter because it was me and him. You know it didn't matter if it was because we had a good time because it was me and him and we could. We could joke about how bad the game was after stream and said dumb and be like Yo dude that was cancer and then I remember sometime it was like bro that puzzle was so boring bro the stream was dying I I Googled the answer bro like I dude that's how bad it was okay um and then um that's just kind of how it was.

So they came a point or like sometimes I wanted to do other stuff and I want to do stuff that uh MOX didn't find fun or whatever but that happens in life. that's just that's what happens and he want to like You want to like play league? you want to do whatever and I didn't want to do that. Um, and I didn't have to talk about it for me and him, it wasn't a business like it never was I didn't have to say yo dude, like you got to sit down and do this like we just did things less than us together because it just didn't line up. At one point we just almost did nothing together and that's fine.

Um, he wanted to have his own stream, his own thing and and I was totally okay with that. I would never go against that and he knows that I would never go go against that. That's just how it was. um and it just kind of end like that.

but I always love Moxy and then his dedication to the stream was unmatched. It's something that you see. um, man, that's kind of. That's a little different ball game, but it's something that I think on the I I don't I don't I don't want to sound too cliche about this I don't want to sound like I'm too I'm reading too far into it I genuinely believe this.

This is something very, very very important. This is something that you find rarely on the internet as a whole. not only on Twitch or whatever or for streams. this is uh, the type of uh collab slers that um you find almost nowhere in when it comes to everything Tik Tok YouTube Twitch gaming because it comes from wanting to do things that I have fun right without alter motive and when not want to like make your own stream or what like of course always want my my my my my friend.

If you want to have a stream to have his own stream you know have his own source of Revenue right But at the same time if can consolidate on in one spot and do things for the sake of doing them right then it's like it's perfect cuz you don't have to explain anything, you know things don't get weird and like um when you when you look back at it McConnell and McConnell and Asen gold GRE and Tyler right You look at these these jeos of people me and me and Moxy you look at these Duels of people and you realize that like how often do you see that happen anywhere rarely Never because people will either leave because they want to do their own thing, they want to do their own business, they want to open up their own channel and a lot of people are purely result based and leech based and they they leave. It's why I Never understood why people said that GRE is a leech GRE is GRE made his brand on being a leech because it was funny, right? He made that joke. He kind of played along right, but people forget Greek was on Tyler's stream for years making content for free for nothing but just making people laugh. He didn't want anything.

He ended up getting things out of it. Maybe it was a big long con, but I think that the investment of time before everything happened definitely justifies, um, him getting that because at that point he deserves it. You know, and whether it's a long con or not, What what people gain? what the streamer gained from that is so much that it doesn't matter what happens at that point because he's already passed that line and in my opinion, we get that line. and I'm telling you this is this is not an opinion.

This is a fact that I'm telling you on the entirety of Internet do wingman like combo like that. It's incredibly rare. You're going to see that people will stick together and go past that line of being mutually beneficial. Most people will do their own thing way before and they'll quit and they they just they'll When they see them like security or like money they will get the out they will run with the bag and they will never be appear again right? But for Greek for Moxy and think for McConnell it was all about providing value for people that watched.

They want to make people laugh. They want to make good jokes, they want to make good memes and they want to create a moment that people will remember um for the times to come and to leave a a small token in in history you know and I I think that um for me MOX that's how it was and then it just and then me and MOX had other goals and we just didn't didn't play anymore. um that's it but still I think sometimes like a lot of my projects and things I want to do I want to do them on camera and Moxy doesn't want to be on camera and I never forced them out I never said yo boxy get out, get on camera right now What? I never I never I always given the opportunity I said if you want to do this we can do this and I think over the years I probably told him like 30 times projects I said yo dude I've always Tred to include them and be like Yo dude if if you do this you you could do this. If this you could do that this you could do that and then I don't blame him I don't blame him for not doing it I don't give a I do not care because the last thing I want is in if he forg to do it and then he appears and he he feels like he's on the clock or like like he's being paid, he's he's like feels like you're doing a real job and the closer you get to feeling like a real job the farther you are from making content that that matters to people and people fail to realize this.

It's why Among Us suck so much is that everybody got so busy that people made so much content that nobody gives a about. You can make streams that have 100K viewers that not a single soul remember or you make a stream that has 10 of viewers that will matter to every person watching and I know a stream like that when I see one and I always go for that and nobody can tell me the anything else. That's what. That's my philosophy.

I that's just going I see um it's just high density value for people. that's all. um yes. so I always felt like really cringy.

like when people like try to make things like oh dude like bri replacing Moxy Like Jesse replacing this guy like dude, stop that. it's not like that dude. it's like I just I just want to hang out and people want to make content. make Cont: If it's good, it's good.

If it's bad, it's bad and we just move on like it's just like I don't want to have this this weird, like like competition and we're trying to have fun out here. Man, um, cars. Yeah. I Have to think about it.

um if first do on stream no I do the opposite. No joke though. I I wish people this I'm trying to sound I'm trying not to sound like I'm some sort of like master manipulator of chat. Listen, it's quite the opposite though.

sometimes like I have to force myself to not do stuff on streaming cuz there are things that I really want to do. but I know I can't do and that feels like trash because sometimes I know like Fair social farming slash drama slash this. this will get weird. this will get legal.

this will get there. So many things that I think are my content brain is like is busting through my skull. okay and I sometimes real like content brain is not fantastic like um just going to how it is. um give examples.

Well I mean I've always loved dating content I I think I'm I I'm generally decent at it I think it's I think it's fun as I think people love watching it and I think I could have I could have done a lot with it but I at the same time it makes it so I love doing long hours I like doing 10 hour streams I like doing 10 20 hour streams and the reality is is that the chat experience gets really shitty when you do stuff that makes pair socials pair social. So if I do some skits and some some things around like eating, it's really funny. After that for an hour it's fun. two hours after that I play a game for eight hours and the chat is sucking on my balls about a billion.

That just annoys me and makes everything so tank did. It's why everybody that does v content don't do long streams. It's why Austin show doesn't do a lot of shows. It's why he doesn't His community got turned to dog and it's unbearable and it's boring.

It's predictable. it's cringe. just look at this chat. y'all posted about the contestant of that 1 hour show.

like you still post about them right now like I still see some of you dumb asking questions about these people that I interacted with like five sentences 4 months ago like it's cringe, it's it's unbearable but at the same time I love that content. But I know I can't do it. So when he said like do you feel forced to do things on stream it's the opposite I always have passion to do stuff but I have to force myself not to do things instead and that sucks. You feel someone want again stream in the Curr year.

Don't do it. You shouldn't want to get into streaming it. You should do it because of what you get out of it which should be fun and in enjoyment. if the stream takes off.

it does should have forc it. It will never work. It'll never work I'm telling you dude, just don't even don't even bother. People will see through that like like blood.

Okay, because there's one thing people can sniff out. it's being not genuine. Okay and when you're doing things for for profit and for fakeness, people, people will see through it and that makes it that you won't be able to make it like a main main thing for you unless you focus on like super um, one side entertainment. So like shows and whatnot which aren't very interactive on viewers is positive and negative.

I am blindly and and deliberately um stupid. uh when it comes to my impact on people I don't want to navigate the world and content based on how it impacts people because I genuinely do not care from the bottom of my heart. Okay, if if my stream made you unhappy or whatever it does Z I give zero because this is my outlet I Do this because I want to. How is that privileged? You're a idiot.

You You you are privileged. Imagine thinking that I'm going to make things for make for you to feel good I Don't give a I This has always been an outlet for me and it's how I I I I process I like to stream and talk and relase release energy into the world. and if that energy sticks with you, it sticks. And on days that it doesn't it doesn't I'm not going to fake some weird energy and and level out my anger and my my happiness and my whatever just for to give you the right energy of so that it fits the most people and oh my God and to that's like you get crazy doing that.

you get nuts. Look at all the streamers that do that. These people are miserable. Look watch their stream.

They never raised their voice. they never they never. They never have actual energy because the energy is all twisted and and turned down and it's all like processed and repackaged. and they they don't know who they are anymore because they're everybody else but themselves to people that tuned in to watch them, everybody clicks to watch them and they become everybody else and we were like oh but dude, but dude I watch to see myself and this person I I don't care, they give you that.

It's not what I What I What I'm set out to do people touch about that. the juer isun you know I'm gonna go and go hard bro I It's time bro, it's time Doug It's fine C it's fine blood. it's time D I Love that I Love this question this question Dude I Love this question I answer every time I Get it Dude Because people forget. Okay, how do you feel when people talk about the juicers or about Community as a whole you think your community is more than normal.

You want to know why people talk blah about everybody and everything. One: La When people do that because nobody talks about their Community Nobody says blah blah blah about their people. Well you know why. Because they're nobody's They do nothing.

They achieve nothing. They go nowhere they don't do for anybody and no, nobody's behind them cuz their cause sucks. dick. Okay, that's why that's why it's why they run.

It's what. it's why they make everything about running their mouths ofbody cuz they don't sit down and do and you say but dude, what about what about you bro bro? It doesn't matter. We'll do this. We'll do that.

We'll do this. We'll do that right. But at one point I'll click a video I'll click a game or do some and we're just going to go. We're going to go back to our own lane and we're going to do our own thing right and everybody goes through our boxes.

Do do the right things and things just continue. These people. what happens then their stream ends. they stop.

they. It's what these guy these people do because all they have is the is the guys I'm the underdog. These guys are so cringe. LOL Guys LOL Guys We're going to talk about these.

Look guys. this is so funny Dude. Look at these guys. They're so stupid.

LOL But Look at us and it turn around and it's there's nothing there. It's void. There's literally nothing. nobody's behind them.

They're just on their own because they don't build anything. And the whole concept about content creation is that you make something. you make something of value for people. You do something that matters and you create something.

And yes, sometimes I'll do dumb that doesn't hit the mark that do go sideways something. I'll do something that that that ends up being being bad by the end day. We always at least try to build something of value. and these people all they can do is talk because they don't have the ability to build.

I wish you guys understood this. When you go out of the wood out, when you go out of your way to be as crazy as you can at other, when when you when you insult and and and C crash it on people, you you think that it makes you above them and I will tell you this a million times and I this has to present with you. Okay, you're going to think throughout your life that whatever you're trashing somebody, you're you're you're above You're Building you're going. you're doing something I guarantee you when you're going at somebody and do like that.

It says way more about you than it says about them when you say yo dude, you're a this LW that all of that is all you and none of rarely any of them. It it makes makes you, It makes you smaller, you have to, you have to, you have to yell, you have to cry. You have to do all this right to to feel like you're building something in and then you build nothing in people pray on downfall The people that PR downfall they have no castle of they didn't build I I'm I'm telling you this I'm telling you this: I wish want this. It's so important, so important.

So how do I feel about them I I don't I don't really care. At the end day they give me free promotion. These guys they say the juicers suck. What is juicers? oh it's it's Exc's juicers man And then they click in and they watch my content is better.

They they follow, they watch ads, they sub and they suck at my balls while they're super yaps and gives me free promotion. they're literally a ad. a walking ad for my people. Come in and they get a bit of product.

These people are so they're so delusional. Um, I'm being harsh about it. but I I'm being overly dramatic about this. but it's just that's kind of how it is.

Okay, um, all in all, that's kind of how these things manifest themselves. It's why I'm never afraid of collabing with somebody with other streamers because I I Gen believe that I enjoy what I do and I think some people enjoy it right and I'll never stop doing my thing. and if we'll find better content somewhere else from somebody else, they can watch them while they want I don't it doesn't take away from me I want people to find things that they enjoy watching it. if I C up with another streamer and they have more enjoyment watching them and they find Value in that so be it then that person has found better content that suits them more right.

and I know my ability to to get more people that'll enjoy what I do and I I I'll outr run that I'm not afraid of of of of of because being afraid makes you weak it it makes it makes you weak. Okay people always say dude this gu's leeching this taking advantage of you no I'm taking advantage of them okay they provide me with content right they they they they pile on they give me they Me Just Like Jesse Jess gives me content maybe stream start stream? maybe more viewers right? I Lee off a Jessie J's leeching? absolutely not I Lee off of Jessie I I get his juice Okay so that's that's how kind of these Dynamic play outs uh um um what people who blame Chad Hopper's action motivates people the one hurting CH a hot more um I think I think this is always. this is always really like I Generally think that this is just this just plays into the victim. uh card Meta I think I Generally think that um, outrage SL Victim Meta is the most played meta right now.

um socially and it's really insane how powerful it is. um I think a lot of buzzword into the mix adds to that Dynamic It makes it even even even worse. It's why it's why um, we're talking about chat Hoppers it's why even chat ERS be became a buzz word. Now it's if I'm streaming in in and if I'm streaming and there's other streamers and my chat says some dumb at me, it's got to be chat Hoppers it has to be because then I can I can blame my chat's dumb behavior on other people offload the blame on top of that I can flip it, become the victim.

Help me. Please help me Please you guys you are guilty of me over please help help me. And then they get to play that card and it plays in this strategic position in social dynamics and what that means is that they they get to to um, extract value out of people. And the reason why I'm Never Scared these people is that their streams are um, victim.

Andy's streams are always absolute dog unwatchable, unbearable, and they can suck my balls genuinely okay. I I'm telling you, this is something I've seen over the years. I've seen it time time I've been on the internet for a long time I then this stream for a long time. Um, victim andies streams as a whole are always very bad.

Um okay I know why? Because people on the internet want to appear like they care. Viewers like say oh, I I care about your problems They don't care care they don't give a nobody actually cares. People want to be entertained. People want to live something people want to see.

People want to feel something. Okay, they go to your stream. You're being a victim andity all the time. Ain't nobody Give a nobody actually cares Okay, nobody gives a um um um um what about other being afraid of of own Community cringe long video of the stream U the days everything that you want to call it no I'm fine H or are complicated I think I realiz that I don't want to do that I have not missed on anything I'm still young enough to do whatever I want and um I think I I did pretty bad in living my life like outside swimming.

um but there's a bunch of things I mean people I mean you guys say cap but I mean you're going to spend U most of your life in an N To5 and in some um, juicing box on a in a sweat shop doing you probably don't won't even like and you're going to be stuck there for like a the longest time and you won't be able to live your life at all and you're be stuck with like bills and life and it's just kind of how it's going to be and then you're going to be like oh but dude I I live my life because at the end I at my job I I went and I took a beer at the corner. um for like 45 minutes and it's like, well, your reality and then your definition of what living life is will change and shift over the years and um, it just has to make sense for you and it it just has to make sense for you and whatever decision you make or path you take it just justify or um, or fight for change I Don't know so I just my lifestyle and I I enjoyed it I have no regrets if I don't like something I change it. you need one games uh, games second. they usually kind of like a movie.

you stop watching, you go back to it. it's not not the same I can't do I I I I Generally cannot do a saaton. it's going to be bad I have sleep problems um I don't know what that means I people know about your life I think that's fine I think that's fine I mean I know I overshare about my life but at the same time um a way to process things and me to heal from things that I don't like are just saying it if I did something that I don't like and I just like last time when I when I I was dating this girl from Quebec and I I ghosted her like I told Chad about it not because I want to because I feel bad about it and I it helps me to um to do better and to heal and to process to say it and then if chat says it back to me and makes fun of me for it then it makes me like um it makes me like process f fter it's a it's a w like like a diary um yes um I I never hold grudges and that's actually good. That's pretty good I think that's actually pretty good.

Okay I genuinely do not hold grudges I've seen some of my worst enemies in real life um or people and I just I don't I can't bring myself to care I Gen don't care um I get mad when people Okay, this is very very shortsighted and one my problems I move on so fast that sometimes people don't don't move on as fast as I do and they will act like like what are you doing and I I forgot I Genely forgot that we're supposed not to like each other and then they'll get they'll get like mad at me cuz they're like dude like we're not. You know they don't think that we're supposed to like like each other or something like that and to me that just feel that just feels odd because usually I I don't think I've I've rarely had a problem with somebody that I didn't move on the next next day from which also can be a bad thing cuz some things need processing or whatever. but I don't like to see life as too serious sometimes. same with aan yeah, same with aan yeah I mean bunch of time me and aan had problems and I was more than okay with being on his stream or on his podcast or even the next day or having on my stream even though he's he might get viewers and he might Lee off of my stream I don't give a what the would I care I I I didn't they I Just Want to Have Fun um I have never hel with anybody I can't think of a single person that I' I've held grudges against.

The people that I've had grudges against are people that went like to insane lengths right? and I know of and even these people I still don't give like a bit a big grudge thing like it's not like that right? people that go to length that are too heavy. it's like come on brother like ah me um um um um um um um grudges are just bad dude. like I wish people understood this. um grudges are bad they they you.

you lose something like you hold on to all that hatred and you hold on to all that that pain and you just hold it all in and you keep it up and it pro. it's in your thoughts all the time and it's it's in your like your brain Ram and now you're you're throttled or some all the time and you're just kind of glitched in. it's just it's like it holds you back from being happy like it's just trash dude. like just some people don't change and what you have to do is just um.

you now know who they are and you just act accordingly and that's it. Just play your cards better. If they're going to always be an ass crack then so be it. But just act.

act accordingly. if that means you don't say them, you don't see them but holding on to a grudge per se. that's bad. I'm telling you it's just so bad.

um I I I think I've lost some things over the years by by not having a grudge and not playing my cards right with people and I'm telling you it's probably not as I didn't lose as much as I would have if I held on to that grud and lost out on on sleep happiness I Always come out on top doesn't matter I always come out on top 100% okay um uh uh no I've never been ever no no I don't get burned out no that was that. kind of got dark little faster. um am I happy I'm happier I I Enjoy! Uh the ups and the downs: I don't fight the Downs ever I try not to I think Downs are fun I think I think being things being bad or kind of sad I understand that they're part of the process and they're just um they're part of the story and it only makes sense that it's down because at one point it's going to be up or it was up and we're trying to go to places. so if if I if I if I fight, if I fight it um then it it.

It doesn't make sense I don't let myself being overtaken by them. but I think they're important I think I think they have value sometimes I look back at my life and I I look at the the things that were down and bad end up being some of the better parts of my life. um looking back at it I just just didn't feel like that because I was fighting it so hard. just don't fight it so hard.

sober strain brother. no probably not trying to get a good juicer that this is actually you know I' I talk about this. I'll for one minute and then I'll move on. Um uh um um um um um was Oh yeah.

Why you not care about your trophies? Mbilia Okay, this is something that is like competition philosophy. Okay, so a lot of people are not going to resonate with this and will not understand I'm not like trying to sell you on an idea. This is what the goal of tonight. Okay, answer questions.

I'm going to tell you some. what is me? Memorabilia memorabilia is like tokens of the past. It's like uh, small things that represent something of a memory. Okay, such like um, keeping an old skateboard that that made you win a competition or whatever and you keep it in your house.

That's that's that's a piece of me. Memorabilia: Okay, it's like oh oh I remember that I remember that from from the past What it's kind of POG um I think I think I think that's what it is. Okay one one. I think achievements are something that happen in an instant.

Okay My Philosophy Is that an achievement is something that happens once and it happens. Boom. That's it. it.

It just happens right and I feel like it makes me self-destructive to keep something that like that. It's just okay. It's just odd if I'm in a if I'm at a certain point in like a sport or like competing and I reach a height and I get something. oh look a trophy or whatever right? Um I don't want I don't want to keep it I don't want to keep it if it feels bad to look back at it.

when things aren't good, it feels weird. It makes you feel lesser. It makes you feel like sometimes, um, sometimes competing. um in a lot of way.

Um, here's an example of how this is something that that Rodney Mullen said okay that I align with 100% skateboarding I used to I used to do it and I used to have a lot of fun with it. okay I used to do I used to be crazy should be very very colorful in how I would do it and um when it come to competing I felt like the judges like they would. they would judge me. um on factors that didn't make skateboarding fun or good right? But I still did those things to to to win right? So I skated in a way to win to fit the boxes.

It's like asking an artist that was yeah, whatever. So I just did things to win and I and I win it. so I I won a bunch of Awards or whatever the right and then it just felt like I did things to get that that I don't really agree with it because that's not how I want it to be. that doesn't that doesn't mean anything for me.

like exactly like like the the the T-Mobile MVP trophy I still have it I I like I like to flex it as a joke but I generally I don't I left in California I I I don't care about it um CU I got it to like a vote and even if I didn't even if I didn't um I I got to Performance I I don't want to have I don't want to have it I think it's bad I it's too long to go into into philosophies um I'm going to B this guy um I'm going to go and B this guy I'm getting per I don't about what he says my bad um it's 5: a.m. I going talk to chat I mean I don't give a what this guy says about it I I couldn't care. just a idiot. um yeah this is too complicated to to go to.

this is too complicated to break down I'm I'm not I'm not it just yeah I just don't to with this um you know what? Watch this. this question is really good. people think I'm going to go to Crazy length with this question some ask I could a bu my second B um look I have a bunch of you think this is going to go sideways, it won't I think I think it's generally good. um there's a Bunch um okay, genuinely I think oversharing oversharing has been an issue for me for sure because I like to talk about people um about stuff about me or whatever and I realize that sometimes some people want to want to listen to things so that they can get something out of you right and you you're probably thinking money and some other I'm not talking about that.

Sometimes you can share a weakness with somebody, right? and the only thing that they that they see or hear is when will I able to use this as a weapon against them when they're at a weak point I Can I can make a I can I can crush them with it That's what happens with people because When You're vulnerable with somebody. All you're doing is that you're giving it ammo and people say dude, dude, what you're saying is not true, blah blah blah you still got to be vulnerable. This is conceptually and philosophically something that I don't resonate with. Okay, when you're when I am being vulnerable to people and I overshare just for the sake of doing it right.

all they see is just their mag loading up full of ammo. That's all they see. That's all that. That's all that it is.

and at the end of the day they end up using it against me one day or another and it's like um, it's just how it is. it's just it's just it's just how it's been. That's all. I mean even even even I hate to say even with chat when I had this this.

Dr K episode where I talked about like my dad and my past. Whatever people bring that up all the time, use it against me like oh yeah dude, you're like that that that time you talked about with this like man, you're just just like them, it's like oh man like Jesus Christ man and that just really sucks. It's like you just want to share and you want be able to like relate to something or whatever and all they want to do is find a way that like use it against you some someday and get an advantage and that's really shitty. Um yeah.

so I think aailable lesson is not not oversharing it. um it's probably less less of a thing, but just also also with financials. when people don't know the scope of things, it's things are much simpler. Like whether it's because it's it's a lot of money or very little I think people not knowing is just better.

um it's always been better because I don't think there has much relevance unless you're talking about like like household budgeting or something like that. um people not knowing is just way better. um and that's something that I I learned like maybe I was wrong Why I overthought it um I I had this girl I want to date and um I just bought this like really nice house um in Quebec and it's like it's like such a it's so nice and then um one night she's like oh yeah you want to do this and like I'll come pick you up and I just said yes I I said yes and then for an instant like I just I should had forgotten like where I live right and I felt like I feel like things changed like when they saw the house and I was like oh wait a minute that was kind of stupid. um that's just that's just that's just kind of.

that's kind of how I felt I I I don't know to tell you that's that's to tell you that's just it's the way the way that it felt to me it and it it it made me understand that like yeah oversharing in that why because it's I mean yeah bro when when people think about like money overall um for some people for them it's like of course it's it's it's security and for people like people uh people want that it make gives them like a an ideal like oh I could be in this and I could be secured then if they're in an uncertain spot like that's they really want that and it's like oh like maybe I shouldn't have done that. you know cuz then you want somebody to be attracted to you and you want people to be there for you not for like whatever the you have or whatever right you want to reduce the amount of like alter motives to almost zero if you can. and if that means you have to go to like like big lengths to do it then then then so be it. that's just going to that's that's not has to be and that's that's what I thought that like damn I think that's how I'm going have to do things now.

um what else I don't going live what if would I be nervous people can suck my balls I don't care I don't feel nervous going live like I don't give a like like what's going to happen yes much you know wrong I don't regret it I don't regret anything I have no regrets. regrets are like the most bro. How am I complaining? Where's this guy I'm just going to bur this guy. be honest.

the the question is li